AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT:

BOOKS, PODCASTS & ONLINE RESOURCES

Check out some online courses here.

 
Books:

On attachment

  • Attachment Theory - a guide to strengthening the relationships in your life - Thais Gibson (amazon)

  • Attached - Levine & Heller (amazon)

  • The Flight from Intimacy: Healing Your Relationship of Counter-dependency - Weinhold & Weinhold (amazon)     

  • Wired for Love and Wired for Dating - Stan Tatkin (amazon)

  • The Power of Attachment - Diane Poole Heller (amazon) 

  • Healing Your Attachment Wounds: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships (Audiobook) - Diane Poole Heller

  • Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner - Jeb Kinnison (amazon)

  • Facing Codependence and The Intimacy Factor - Pia Mellody (amazon)

  • Trauma & the Avoidant Client - Robert Muller (amazon)

  • Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics & Change - Mikulincer & Shaver (amazon)

  • Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love - Robert Karen

  • Attachment and the Defence Against Intimacy - Linda Cundy (amazon)

  • Attachment Across the Lifecourse - David Howe

  • Struggle for Intimacy - Janet Wotitiz

  • Attached at the Heart: 8 Proven Parenting Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children - Barbara Nicholson 

On relationships

  • Getting the Love You Want - A Guide for Couples - Harville Hendrix

  • Hold Me Tight - Sue Johnson

  • When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships - David Richo

  • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work  - John M Gottman

  • Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict - Jonathan Robinson

  • We Do - Stan Tatkin

  • Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't - Henry Cloud

  • How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving - David Richo

  • Love & Limerence - Dorothy Tennoy

Other

  • Mindsight - Dan Siegal (intro) (amazon)

  • Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself - Aziz Gazipura (amazon)

  • Boundaries: Where You End And I Begin: how to recognise & set healthy boundaries - Anne Katherine

  • Boundaries - Cloud & Townsend (amazon)

  • Lost Connections: Why You're Depressed and How To Find Hope - Johann Haari

  • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents - Lindsay Gibson

  • Parent Yourself Again - Yong Kang Chan

  • Inner Bonding & Inner Bonding Workbook - Margaret Paul

Podcasts: 


The Dismissing/Avoidant Style of Relating in Adult Relationships - Therapist Uncensored

How To Feel Safe & Secure With Your Partner with Stan Tatkin - The Relationship School

Moving to a Secure Attachment Style - Love Intently Podcast

Boundaries for Partners of Avoiders - Beyond Bitchy

Avoidant Attachment in Marriage - The Marriage Podcast for Smart People

Connor Beaton - various life mastery podcasts directed at men

Websites: 

www.pathwaytohappiness.com

www.personaldevelopmentschool.com

www.heirloomcounseling.com

www.connorbeaton.com  (self mastery directed at men specifically)

www.dianepooleheller.com

Some very readable links:

This site has drawn from these links and many other resources.

@sussexcounsellor

freetoattach@outlook.com

If I had my life to live over again – Nadine Stair

 

If I had my life to live over again,
I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax.
I’d limber up.
I’d be sillier than I’ve been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances,
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.

I would, perhaps, have more actual troubles but fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I’m one of those people who was sensible and sane,
Hour after hour,
Day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments.
If I had to do it over again,
I’d have more of them.
In fact, I’d try to have nothing else - just moments,
One after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot-water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I could do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had to live my life over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
And stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances,
I would ride more merry-go-rounds,
I would pick more daisies.

 

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